Elements of Style: Obama's Rhetoric

It's not reading smoothly off  a teleprompter, nor skillfully following a script  like Reagan, it's Obama's own rhetorical skills, his writing, that makes his speeches so effective.  He has definitely read Elements of Style and taken it to heart.  As E.B. White observes in that little classic, "these are the times that try men's souls" has a power that "these are trying times for men's souls" lacks.


If you examine this photo from the White House Flickr page you will see close-up the marked up copy of Obama's health care speech to the Congress in fall 2009, the beginning of the counterattack after the "death panel" summer of hyperbole.  You will see changes like those below.  Strikeouts and additions in Obama's hand show that the effectiveness of his rhetoric is not just in the skill of his speech writers, but in his own  concise phrasing, rhythm, and tone.

That large heartedness -[that compassion] - that concern and regard for the plight of others is not a partisan feeling.  It is not a Republican or Democratic feeling. [It is the same feeling I had when Sasha contracted meningitis at three months old, or when I watched my mother on her last day.  All of us have had that experience and so all of us, despite our disagreements, must  work to help those going through it now.   For that]  It, too, is part of the American character [of our country] -- our ability to stand in other people's shoes[,].  A recognition that we are all in this together, and when fortune turns against one of us, others are there to lend a helping hand; a belief that in this country, hard work and responsibility [to family and community and country] should be rewarded by some measure of security and fair play; and an acknowledgment that sometimes [only a] government [can ensure] has to step in to help deliver on that promise.

And thanks once more to James Fallows for his sharp eye for the fine points of Presidential rhetoric.